Accepting That Sometimes You Just Need An Open Return Ticket Home


Well I just officially slept through my return flight home. No alarm went off. No taxi came. In fact I was 100s of miles away from the Bangkok airport in the mountains of northern Thailand. Just as I planned it! Because that was my *original* flight… and I now have an open return ticket!

I just finished a 20 day meditation course on “Acceptance”. During each session I was prompted to ask myself “Who or what am I resisting in my life, right now?” At first I was quick to think I wasn’t resisting anything. I’m totally peaceful! But then as usual this meditation business got deeeeeep! Ha!

Over the days my awareness became increasingly refined as I pondered this question during the sessions as well as day to day. My biggest insight was that anyone or anything I resist has an equal counterpart within myself that I am not accepting. By the end of it, I realized just how much I wasn’t accepting about myself! Well LUCKILY right before this course I’d just finished 30 days of meditating on how to deal with “Anxiety”, otherwise I might have freaked out with all this personal work to do! As it is, it’s just another opportunity to tell myself that I’m already doing great. And as I see what I want to work on, I just breathe, reassure myself that I’m already on the path and bound toward ever more greatness! So no need to stress when there’s so much to be grateful for 🙂

I left Bali a week ago, and while I enjoyed it overall, I was ready to leave. Something inside of me was calling me back to Thailand. So I decided to rent an apartment in Chiang Mai, a lovely town in the north. The weather is cool, the air is clean and I’m so grateful to be back in this country of smiles, delicious food and the best massages in the world! I’m continuing to make good progress on deepening my daily practice of yoga, meditation and healthy eating while interspersing chunks of total solitude with social time, which offers a great way to reflect on how I am reacting to myself and others. An interesting pattern that I’ve observed is that I tend to want something other than that which I have. At that point I meditate and/or do some yoga and inevitably I realize that I’ve got all I need right here already 🙂 After a few months of this daily practice I feel an unprecedented level of clarity. What’s more, all this mindful living is stoking my inner creative fire. I can literally feel my channels of thought open as I slough off the thought patterns that have been holding me back. Then naturally, exciting project ideas start emerging but rather than be the fast-acting, compulsive lunatic I used to be, I’m going to take it slowly and not lose sight of my intentions. I will stay mindful, patient and strategic. Cause that’s how I roll in 2016, baby! Luckily the next meditation course I chose is all about “Focus”, an important skill that has eluded me much of my life. So I’ll let you know how that goes!

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss home. But when I really feel like I’m going a little stir-crazy or spending too much time by myself I’ve always been good at making fast friends and blowing off steam smile emoticon One thing this solo trip has shown me is just how lucky I am to be part of such an amazing community of kind, open minded, heartfelt and creative powerhouses back in California. It’s a really, REALLY rare thing and while I might stray to foreign lands from time to time, I know Cali will always call me back. But of course the real reason I miss home the MOST is because it’s where little furchild, Tux is waiting for me patiently. I never knew I could miss another living being so much! ARRRGH! It makes my heart swell just thinking about him smile emoticon But luckily he’s being taken care of by some of the best aunties and uncles I could ever ask for until my return.

Anyway, so that’s the update. I’ll probably be out here until the Spring. And of course if any of you end up coming this way keep me posted. Hint hint: I’m quite easily persuaded to do self-growth activities as well as physically demanding, consciousness hacking assignment & community based adventure stuff!


Posted by: Dougie In: Updates

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