*** #CABINLIFE UPDATE *** A wilderness journal entry, written beside a wood stove in the historic Trapper’s Cabin, the oldest structure on our land. Incidentally we’ve decided to rebrand the cabin, switching to the far more friendly and appropriately named Beaver Lodge 🙂 ***
After a soft move in by a handful of the Trillium residents, we have made it through to the winter solstice, the longest night of the year when the sun rides its lowest arc across horizon of the northern hemisphere. Last night I went to an interdenominational service in Ashland that included talks, music and traditions from a diverse lineage of spiritual philosophies. A Rabbi led the service which included reps from the realms of Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Taoism and indigenous Animism. He told us that it was the first event of its kind in that synagogue and was a testament to the deeper and more diverse interconnection that people have been asking for as a result of the tumultuousness of our current political, ecological and social environments.
Wow, amazing how much can happen in a year! After feeling entirely burnt out in 2015 I decided to put everything in storage and attended yoga teacher training last winter in Thailand. It blew open my mind, gave me new tools to heal my body and revealed aspects of my spirit that I didn’t even know existed. What I thought it would just be a quick one month retreat and-then-back-to-business-as-usual turned into a deep 5 month exploration of consciousness. A subsequent journey through Thailand and Bali provided a backdrop for revealing all sorts of old junk and a lingering, unresolved anxiety at the core of my character. The more I observed, the more I realized that this subtle yet persistent feeling had been influencing my behavior since childhood. In fact I’d crafted a complex world of distraction as a way to avoid it. I didn’t feel like I really belonged anywhere. I never really felt at ease. And no matter what I achieved outwardly or how elaborately I distracted myself, the feeling was always there, just under the surface until it bubbled up in outbursts of unresolved emotion.